he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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