make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
