you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
