he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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