i may or may not be watching the land before time
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
