Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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