And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
