he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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