There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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