I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize