Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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