I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
