at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
