haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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