Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize