I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
how do flat chested girls get laid?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
