No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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