he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
