Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
