I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
