if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
