so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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