Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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