glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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