i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
