Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You're breaking my sexual little heart
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
