mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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