We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You can't just leave with hair like that
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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