Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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