I hate all girls vehemently.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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