If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
