I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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