what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize