I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
