I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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