I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize