im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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