What a fucking waste of an outfit
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Someone signed my nipple.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
