jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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