I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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