my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize