so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
