she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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