Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
