He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
