so explain again why im purple
no
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
