sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize