Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
