Screwed.edu
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
