pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
