Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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