I was born with a shot glass in my hand
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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