So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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