Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
