THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
