Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
