It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
