is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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