I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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