i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
