Whod you bang
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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