I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
