i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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