I'm gonna have a badass scar
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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